Americans protest as tariffs force them to drink Budweiser
- Midfield Diamond
- Apr 8
- 1 min read
There was widespread disruption across the United States last night as the implications of President Trump’s tariffs on imported beer prices became understood. Despite having no tastebuds to speak of, even American drinkers prefer beers from Canada or Mexico or Europe to chemical urine.
‘Trump has gone too far this time’, said one protester on a San Diego street. ‘I can live on a diet of American burgers and deep-fried chlorinated meat, I am even prepared to drive a Dodge or a Chrysler even though they are terrible cars, if it means safeguarding American jobs. But give me Molson or Coors or Sol or, as a last resort, Heineken. Anything but Budweiser, please’.
