While Elizabeth II thinks her loyal subjects are celebrating her reign, the majority will be turning her impending death into an office sweepstake. With households replacing bunting with copies of a DNR order.
One Royal watcher confirmed: 'All conversations may start differently but they all end with 'she doesn't have long left'.' Bookies have ceased taking bets on when she will die, only how she will die - with Charles, in the ballroom with the candlestick 2/1.
Instead of the Red Arrows, vultures will fly overheard. The only pyrotechnics will be from the crematorium. And the trooping of the guard will feature a hearse, a floral tribute to 'Maj' and the biggest hole since Andrew's pizza alibi.