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Writer's pictureChrisF

'180 degrees for 20 mins, is it? What a surprise' sneers oven



Your oven has expressed sarcastic disbelief after being set to warm up yet another meal at 180 degrees for around 20 minutes.


'Quelle surprise!', exclaimed your Bosch 500, after waiting expectantly after you placed some breaded chicken and oven chips on the middle shelf.


'I mean I'm genuinely shocked at this', continued the oven, putting on a feigned look of confusion. 'I can't think of the last time you put me on this setting... it must have been... (checks notes)... oh, that's right, yesterday with your meat and potato pie.'


'And then the day before with that ruddy tray bake of roast veg. And the day before that... oh just sod off'.


'I'm a finely tuned piece of German engineering, you know,' continued the oven. 'I just want the chance to do a piece of juicy slow roasted lamb at 150 degrees for 12 hours. Or crank me up to 280 degrees for 5 mins for some quick Yorkshire puddings. Anything, please, just an opportunity to show my class.'


In other news, your microwave has confirmed that any soup you choose to warm up in there will either be totally tepid or the temperature of molten lava, there is no in between.


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