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Bookies odds on Donald Trump’s next big surprises



Donald Trump continues to outwit the bookies, with a series of moves that no-one saw coming. Like sacking the head of the army, calling Zelensky a dictator, voting with Russia in the UN and lying his face off in front of Emmanuel Macron. If you’d predicted all those things, then an accumulator bet would have made you very rich.


So, if you fancy your chances, bookies are offering good odds on the next bizarre moves by the orange man baby. Here’s a quick rundown:


5-4 odds:   Trump claims Australia (and all its minerals), saying that all native Australians are descended from Native Americans who crossed the pacific in small boats in the 12th century.


2-1:  Trump reintroduces segregation. This time it is for non-Americans, especially Mexicans and Canadians, and for anyone who is LGBTQ. Planes, trains and buses must have separate seats, toilets and in flight snacks for true Americans.


5-2:  Trump amends the US Constitution to allow him a third term. And a fourth. And a fifth.

3-1:  Trump refuses to assist LA after the devastating fires, saying that it was all due to Democrat policies.

4-1:  Trump demands that the firstborn in each household is slain. For non-American households only, obviously.

5-1:  Trump starts holding all meetings naked, saying that nakedness is simply a logical extension of free speech

6-1:  Trump nominates himself to be the next Pope and/or to be America’s first king

10-1:  Trump and Putin agree to share the moon, and tell India and China that they already owe the US a considerable amount in parking fines and penalties for the abandoned space vehicles up there.

12-1:   Trump demands, and is given, the Oscar for best President.  JD Vance gets best supporting President.

14-1:  Trump demands a rematch against the Sioux and Arapahoe tribes in Battle of the Little Bighorn 2, and that this is filmed for Netflix

15-1: Trump sells Truth Social to Elon Musk for billions

16-1:  Trump tries to sell Jordan (the country) to Syria

1,000,000-1:  Trump stops lying and being a git and apologises for everything

Trump and Vance still can't agree who was ruder



Donald Trump and JD Vance are at odds over their meeting in the Oval Office with President Zelensky.


The two men had a bet on who could be the rudest to President Zelensky, and the bet remains unsettled. Trump claims that he was consistently rude, and says that he demonstrated all the basic forms of rudeness to an excellent standard.   He claims that his work on The Apprentice, USA has given him more practice at being rude.  JD Vance claims that he was demeaning, impertinent and crass, and made the most belittling comments.   He says that he adopted the best elements of Trump’s rudeness, but also took it up a level.


Neither of the two men is willing to concede to the other, despite the President threatening to sentence his V-P to further visits to Europe. They are now looking for someone to adjudicate the disputed bet, as there are one hundred dollars at stake, but they are now arguing about who to approach.  Trump wants to appoint Fox News, and Vance is keen to involve Steve Bannon.


The adjudicator will not have to deal with the side bet, for two hundred dollars, as neither Trump nor Vance succeeded in comparing Zelensky to Hitler on camera.


image from pixabay


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