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Yes, it’s that time of year again. Sod all in the news, and the only thing you could find for your significant other was a windscreen wiper for a Nissan Micra in the Halfords pre-Xmas sale.


If you can tear yourself away from a simmering row with Great Aunt Pumice over the desperate state of the sprouts, want to stop laughing at Boris’s address to the nation for five minutes and avoid you know who’s bloody speech, then check in with us at Newsbiscuit central. Our world-beating editors are still hard at work in the main bar of The Nelson’s arms, taking lager flow tests on the hour every hour in case anything newsworthy happens anywhere, at all, whatsoever.


Today, for one day only, we are pleased to announce the Newsbiscuit TITUS HEADLINE XMAS SPECIAL. Titus is a legendary Newsbiscuit contributor, who valiantly floods our Writer’s Room with hundreds if not thousands of contributions on a daily basis, many of which remain unpublished, also on a daily basis.


Whether this is because of the Newsbiscuit VAR machine, good taste or for completely biased editorial reasons, scientists can’t say for sure due to Russian hackers refusing to share their data.


ENJOY


Ye Merry Newsbiscuit Editorial Team


Comedy news from NewsBiscuit – the Xmas Episode


Available on Amazon, iTunes, YouTube, etc.


Host: Wrenfoe. Featuring Guests: Paul L, Flash Arry, Mrs Wrenfoe & Oshaughnessy

December 2021







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Our books:

Frivolous individuals who love Christmas have spotted a chance to have another bite at the mince pie this June and are engaged in a subtle campaign to make Junemas a thing, despite only Aldi and Sainsbury’s actually thinking it’s a thing (and then only because it’ll help them flog some extra groceries).

Annoying cheerful woman Carol Bell has already invited guests for Junemas dinner on the 25th and bought Twiglets. She’s been browsing eBay and Amazon for a Junemas advent calendar and wondering how far out of date chocolate can be while still tasting okay.

Carol’s slightly curmudgeonly husband Dave Bell told us, “Junemas is just not a thing, even if Carol has mentioned it on Twitter, but it does no harm and I might get a nice dinner out of it so I’m saying “Yes Dear” to any mentions of it. It can’t be as expensive and time consuming as the December version.”

Asked for a comment, Father Christmas said he could see nothing wrong with having a Junemas celebration after Christmas 2020 being a bit of a toughie to celebrate what with a rampaging coronavirus cramping the festive style of many. He pointed out that some people in the southern hemisphere like to have a Christmas in July celebration so they have a go at a roast dinner during their winter, and it might be nice for the northern hemisphere to have a jolly barbecue.

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