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The BBC has announced financial restructuring to allow its top stars to have more ready access to the cream. This will be realised in professional seat sitter Richard Osman being send swathes of the licence fee on direct debit.
'I'm thrilled,' Osman grinned. 'Before this decision, I had to make up a gameshow that paid celebrities appearance fees to play games the public would play for free. Receiving a large amount of public money to turn a profit and banking the goodwill and business connections of all those celebrities took ages.'
'I'll use the money to fund a gameshow where everyone sits at writing desks and the best ideas of each person will be incorporated into my next book,' Osman smirked. "Soon to be adapted by the BBC of course.'
Osman then left the interview saying he had to visit the bank, he couldn't stop laughing.
After months of writing inactivity, Hollywood producers are coming in to work to find piles of scripts on their desks, with the vast majority about how the writers of America won a valiant battle against the producers.
'I know I wasn't supposed to be writing,' said one of the writers who submitted a script within minutes of the strike ending, 'but its not like I've got any life skills, what else was I supposed to do while striking?'
A spokesperson for the Producers' Guild of America said 'you couldn't make it up'.
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