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A special monument dedicated to the Windrush pioneers who arrived in Britain to start a new life over 50 years ago has been deported to the Caribbean just hours after being formally unveiled at London Waterloo station.
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge joined members of the Windrush generation to mark the landmark occasion but were brushed aside by a team of Counter Terrorism Officers who cuffed the statue before bundling it into the back of an incident response vehicle and driving it off to the airport.
The £1m statue had only been in place for a matter of minutes before being hauled down and packed off to Jamaica ‘because yet again it had the wrong sort of paperwork’ confirmed a spokesperson for the Home Secretary.
The spokesperson also claimed the mountain of suitcases on which the man, woman and child were standing had probably been stolen at some point on their journey and so the family were being deported as a precaution.
Despite coming from Stroud in Gloucestershire - having never even set foot in the Caribbean - the monument now faces an uncertain future when it touches down 4500 miles from its UK home.
‘OK…so we can’t be absolutely sure the suitcases were stolen….but I would bet that at the very least they have been tampered with and things are probably missing.
That’s good enough reason for me to deport anyone’ said Ms. Patel
Afghans who worked for the British military will be able to move to the UK permanently, claimed a spokeswoman – while crossing her fingers. One PPI lawyer said the promise was not worth the paper it was written on, while another, who we spoke to, never got over his giggling fit.
Said one refugee: ‘I'm not saying I don't trust Priti Patel but she did seem to be smirking when she said it. By the way, how legally binding is a contract written on the back of a beer coaster, in lipstick?’
The spokeswoman clarified: ‘The UK is known the world over for keeping its promises, you only have to look at how we've brought peace to the Middle East. We always honour our agreements, right up until there is no longer a profit in it’.
One Windrush deportee commented: ‘Don't bother unpacking’.
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