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The prime-minister has defended his timing after removing the Conservative whip from Enoch Powell on the fiftieth anniversary of Powell leaving the party of his own accord and over twenty years since he died.


"It is important to give people a chance to make amends" said Mr Sunak. "But having given Mr Powell 50 years to change his opinion on the naming of the Commonwealth, its right that he understands he cannot cross the leadership."


It's understood that the Conservative Party had planned to use Mystic Meg to contact Mr Powell to deliver the damning verdict, but after Mystic Meg's death, she's become even more mystical so the minister for Fairy dust and Unicorns is being moved from his Brexit duties to contacting the dead.





The entire parliamentary Conservative party has had the party whip removed.


"They all know what they've done.", explained a grim faced Craig Whittaker, former chief whip. "I don't think the party wants to be associated with any of them. Mr Whittaker is believed to be wrestling with the problem of who can restore the whip if they don't have any MPs.


Rishi Sunak, now an independent Prime Minister, was asked if he would consider standing again. "I am standing.", said an irritated Sunak.



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