The curious child

British people thrilled with more opportunities to complain about the weather

Climate Change is gaining unlikely popularity with a notoriously difficult to please bunch: the British public. A record 164 million signatures has been garnered for the new petition: Keep the Home Fires Burning.

Norah Bates of Sconfield, who set up the petition last week, said, 'I was standing at the bus stop, waiting for a service that ended up being cancelled, and we had so much to moan about we hardly even noticed we'd been waiting there for four hours. I had to have a toe amputated due to frostbite, and I've never been happier. It made me think, "maybe I'm not alone?"'

A random, friendly billionaire who very kindly sponsoring the petition confirms, 'Research shows it's not just climate change that is making Brits happy. Poor-quality products and services all help to generate our well-renowned Blitz spirit that makes us the envy of the world.'

Story by: lostandflounder

Photo by Urban Vintage on Unsplash

Met Office told to change silly names of storms

The Meteorological Office is being urged to stop using insensitive names for storms in the UK.

The move follows deaths and damage caused by Storm Bert over the past week.

Weather experts have come under increasing pressure – and not just from the atmosphere – to change the names of storms to reflect the harm they cause.

A spokeswoman for the think-tank Who Came Up With These said: 'Recently we’ve also had Storm Agnes, Gerrit and Debi. Those are names for pet hamsters, not catastrophic weather events.

'We need titles with more gravitas. How about Storm Fury, Storm Rage or Storm My Fence Has Blown Down And I Have No Insurance?'

Who Came Up With These offered a further suggestion: 'The Met Office should consider changing its name to the Meteoro-illogical Office.'

Image: Kapa65 - Pixabay