As the drought develops ...

Water companies apologise for not announcing water shortages during recent fine weather

National water suppliers have apologised for not automatically announcing a water shortage this year. Companies have cited a software glitch as the cause for the delay in the usual round of water shortage scaremongering.

'The new system, linked directly to the Meteorological Office, is supposed to automatically release a press release announcing water shortages at the merest hint of sunshine - it’s a much cheaper way of saving water than mending leaking pipes,' said a spokesperson. 'Unfortunately, the threshold settings were set incorrectly this year, so the system didn’t work.'

The companies have embarked on a joint million-pound project to fix this problem, to be paid for by a rise in domestic water rates. 'A hike in your monthly water bill will ensure that future drought warnings will be bang on time. In fact we might even forecast one in time for Christmas, just to make up for this years failure.'