Mobile footage of music gig 'really great to watch back'

Eleanor Evans recently went to a concert, filming most of it on her phone.

Evans said 'It was just like watching them on Youtube, but with the extra expense of tickets, drinks and a taxi home.'

'My video is amazing and I never get tired of showing it to people. How will people know I went to this gig otherwise? You can see the band about 50% of the time because of the backs of people’s heads. The other 50% I was jumping up and down so the footage makes you feel physically sick. Plus the sound is really tinny and you can hear the couple next to us having a full blown row – she should definitely leave him.'

'However, I couldn’t believe how many people were on their phones during the gig. You can see it in my video. So disrespectful.'

Office of Useless Sods: the Bermuda Pants Triangle

One of the greatest political innovations is the Bermuda Pants Triangle. Rather than making any attempt to fix the problems they created, leaders in power whine about the people blaming them for how everything is screwed up. So politicians and special advisers are tasked with coming up with a way of shifting the blame for everything somewhere else.

The solution is to install a czar to look into the problem, and then create independent watchdogs and regulators to oversee the specific things screwed up. The people blame their leader, the leader blames the czar, the czar blames the regulator, and the regulator blames the government. The people become disillusioned with nothing actually being fixed, and the whole problem disappears into the Bermuda Pants Triangle.

Inevitably, much more time and taxpayer money is spent shifting the blame than could have gone into completely resolving the issues in the first place, and the whole useless mess becomes the accepted norm.

That's what great leadership is all about.

Now when you contact anyone about a problem and you are given the run around several departments, you are sucked into a BPT vortex and lost forever. Here is your comprehensive guide to the czars and watchdog offices of responsibility-hand-washing:

Rudeness csar: OffHand

Animal organs czar: OffAll

Carpeting czar: OffCuts

Cycling czar - OffRoad

Prevarication czar - OffAgenonagen

Sickness czar - OffWork

Redundancy regulator - OffShove

Missing persons supremo - OffRadar

Murder czar - OffBump

Offend - Government body formed to look into bottoms :

Offence - Government body formed to regulate the trade in stolen goods

Offline - Government body formed to oversee drug rehabilitation centres

Office - Government body formed to oversee activities in Antarctica

Offend - Government body formed to look into bottoms

Offsett - Government body supervising farmers' provision for badgers

OffTen - Government body responsible for supervising decimalisation

Office for Retail Milk Standards to be called OffMilk

New Government body to regulate boring football talk - OffSighed

Music Industry regulator - OffBeat

Skiing - OffPiste

It support - OffAndonagain

Counterfeit goods - KnockOff

Offquay - regulator for small harbours

Offerr, offagain and offtopic - regulatory bodies for "Just A Minute"

Offgrid - regulation of crossword, sudoku and related puzzle compilers

Offlimits - governor governance

Offsure - management of uncertainty in parliamentary statements

Offwight - local government quango overseeing Ryde to Southsea journeys

Offenders - alternate name for the Council of British Proctologists

OffplanIT - committee overseeing large government technology projects

Offcock - gender reassignment surgery

And the new Water regulator is to be renamed as UTwat, the 'U' standing for Useless, and...

Contributions from and hat tips to:

Lockjaw, deskpilot, Jack the Quipper, Titus, FlashArry, peterg, SteveB

Met Police Had To Google The Word 'Policing' - Watchdog

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