Cornwall secedes, calls in Welsh help

Shortly after the Cornish were granted UK minority status, Cornish independence party Mebyon Kernow have announced the county has seceded from Great Britain with immediate effect and can now be considered a separate country. Teams of civil engineers and demolition experts began simultaneous action to destroy road and rail bridges and widening the Tamar to place a 300 metre water border between themselves and Devon.

David Cameron has condemned the move as illegal, but fellow Celts in Wales have offered aid by sending a dinghy from Swansea to Newquay carrying essential supplies of bara brith, though this was turned back by RAF fighters. Asked why Wales was helping the illegal nation, Plaid Cymru Chief Executive Rhuanedd Richards replied: ‘Well, it annoys the English, doesn’t it?"

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Wales 'never really been particularly interested in rugby'

'Who cares about rugby? It's just a game for kids in posh English schools, see?' said Dai Griffiths from Gareth Edwards Street, The Eddie Butler Memorial Estate, Llanelli. 'There's boring, isn't it? I'd rather watch the golf, or crown green bowls, or go and have an exciting game of contract bridge' added his friend Alun Thomas, from nearby Barry John Boulevard.

Offered a lift in a Fiat to go and have a Pizza and a nice glass of Chianti, their resolve cracked, as they both burst into tears, sinking to their knees sobbing in close harmony 'Oh, the shame! The shame!'

It's all about the breakdown.

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No felicitations in Wales due to strike by Bore Da force

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