We were lucky to get nil, says Welsh captain

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Wales seeks reparations from First World

Wales has called on the First World to do more to help it with the growing climate emergency.

'It’s not like we’re causing the problem,' sang a Welsh spokesman in an uplifting baritone. 'There’s bugger all heavy industry in Wales these days. Cars can’t go above 20mph. Beyond stopping the sheep farting, I don’t see what else we can do.'

'Yet clearly we’re bearing the brunt of what I’ve decided to believe is climate change - rather than, say, the weather in Wales always being crap - since that opens the door to truckloads of compensation.'

He went on to say the First World must do more to help the Global South, even those parts of it which aren’t actually in the southern half of the globe.

'It’s galling to think that just a few miles away in England they have electricity and inside toilets, while we suffer like this. Some say the answer is to be more like English, and couples shouldn’t be related until they get married. But I think that’s a slippery slope - before you know it, we’ll have more than five different surnames.'

Image: TheDigitalArtist - Pixabay

Renaming of Snowdonia Made Permanent After Great Success at Annoying the English

Eryri National Park Authority have announced that their decision to use the Welsh name over Snowdonia, and Yr Wyddfa instead of Snowdonia will be made permanent after proving a success at its main goals: Protecting the Welsh Language, improving national pride, and annoying the English.

"It makes every Welsh person very proud," said Rhys Jones, the National Park's spokesperson. "We always delight at looking blankly at tourists when they ask where 'eerie' is, rather than the correct pronunciation of 'Ehruhre'. Or we send them on the road back to England, after charging them £5 for a cup of tea and slice of Bara Brith."

Members of the Welsh Assembly welcomed the move, with one remarking, "Protecting our heritage while also infuriating tourists is a great win-win. We particularly enjoy the irony of taking money from English types who complain about people not making an effort to integrate or learn the language after they've spent money on holiday homes in Wales."

image from pixabay