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The Royal family have accused members of the Royal family of 'palace blocking', leading to gold plated royal coaches being parked up outside palaces for up to 40 hours.
'One cannot occupy a 60 room palace when one's brother and ex-wife, or one's ginger-haired grandson are still in residence,' said an anonymous insider today.
Palace blocking is thought to be linked to Royal List payments. 'It's all very well the country standing on their doorsteps clapping as one is driven past, waving,' said the anonymous source, 'but that doesn't pay one's bills. It's no wonder one is reduced to serving quiche at one's coronation banquet,' he added.
An ambulance has taken two hundred and fifteen years to drive from Salford NHS trust to 37 Slurry Drive in Salford. Remarkably this is longer than it has taken the British Museum to think about returning the stolen Elgin marbles to their rightful owners.
The trust CEO, Norman Brimmer, said they were working hard to bring times down so that patients wouldn’t have to wait longer than a century or fifty years in emergency cases of cardiac arrest or getting your head stuck in a bucket.
'Two hundred and fifteen years is rather a long time,' said Mr Brimmer, 'but to put things into perspective, that’s only twenty-five years above national government targets.'
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