Following the plot structure of the 2010 movie Inception with Leonardo DiCaprio, half of Uxbridge has bent upwards towards the sky and then folded back over to a point which seems surreal, but is oddly compelling.
A slight majority of residents are unable to follow the plot of a Peppa Pig episode, never mind the complexities of a Christopher Nolan film. Unable to process the meaning of a Cobb's totem which has been spinning perpetually since 2015, they elected to stick with a Conservative MP because perpetual spin is something they keep being told is good for them.
A local woman who wasn't still being smashed in the face by a Conservative Party activist said, 'Uxbridge sounds lovely, but look at the state of it. Anyone who comes to live here willingly is a white ghillie suit short of a tundra scenario.'
Unable to wake up from a nightmare within a nightmare, the people of Uxbridge are now left in a zero G van crash going over the side of a garden bridge in sloooooooow motion.
