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Having blamed all of America's ills on disabled parking and gender neutral cup holders, the President explained that the real reason we had so few minorities in The White House was checks notes because we have so many minorities in The White House. According to Trump, an excess of Mexicans had led to a bottleneck at The White House gates, making it impossible for fellow Mexicans to come in, so they could be deported in an orderly fashion.
He further elaborated, that plane collisions were caused by Woke air traffic controllers, the AI stock crash was the result of taking the knee and the Ukraine War could have been avoided if Ukraine had not been so busy with pronoun badges.
Through a series of hastily worded Tweets, Trump made it clear that Cancel Culture was forcing him to ban certain groups. Affirmative Action was really Negative. And the Me Too Movement was just asking for it.
An excited Prime Minister explained that 100 was more than 1 and that a year was definitely longer than a second, but other than that he did not have a clue and was loving it! An aide said: 'This is fantastic, we'll be tied to the Ukraine for 100 years - what could possibly go wrong? It's not as if we were in a treaty with Russia only 80 years ago.
'We are absolutely convinced Ukraine and the UK will be exactly the same in a century. After all, its not as if AI or climate change exists. We are happy to make a long term commitment - which will out last our marriages, our teeth and life on Earth.'
The Ukraine was equally as pleased: 'We have been told that Keir Starmer is renowned for keeping his promises, so we have nothing to worry about.'
Image: WixAI
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