Man offers his letterbox as a replacement for Twitter

'I know it's not the same,' said Jake (38). 'But it's better than shouting into the void and its more reliable than Mastodon.' Users will need to be patient and take turns, but Jake is clear, they can post anything - as long as it fits in an envelope. 'I can't guarantee everything will get read, but on the upside, you won't get any pedants correcting your spelling.'

Jake will also offer an authentication service, whereby anyone paying $8 a month gets a 'I know Jake and he knows me' pin badge - which is substantially more reliable than the Twitter equivalent. Most users will have the basic package of yelling something racist through the hole, but this will be offset by getting glimpses of Jake's cat doing something cute.

'And if you really want an authentic Twitter experience, you can shit through my letter box.'

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Image: Pixabay/bluebudgie

Take care when switching from Twitter

Musk selling blue ticks ‘tuppence a bag’

Elon Musk – a high tech version of Dickens’ Scrooge – has said that blue ticks on Twitter accounts will now cost $8/month as that is the amount that Musk believes the identities of peasants are truly worth. Many Twitter employees will now not only be sacked, but also blasted into space in a Tesla.

Musk has a history of making unusual and outrageous claims, including that Elon is a normal name. He recently confirmed that he was an arsehole having a mid-life crisis by wearing a leather jacket and saying he would vote Republican. Musk was recently voted the billionaire most likely to become a Bond villain, one #HollowedOutVolcano at a time.

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image form pixabay