Motorcycle tourists amend their description of Iran

A couple of round-the-world tourists published a glowing account of their experience of Iran, stating that they were 'having an amazing time'.  However, they have now advised readers that there were 'one or two tiny typographical errors in our previous report.'

'Where we spoke of the 'lovely people' and of a 'lovely country', what we actually meant to say was 'The country is a dangerous, corrupt sh!t-hole and the w@nkers who live there are a load of complete c*nts.'  We regret any confusion which may have been caused by our earlier lack of clarity.'

Picture credit: Wix AI

The curious child

The Greater Manchester Police travel agency

Dear happy holidaymaker,

In a first for British policing, the Greater Manchester force is offering an electrifying start to your holiday.

What would you normally be doing while waiting two hours between check-in and boarding? Drinking a cup of coffee you didn't want at Costa?

Well now, you can arrange your flight through us at Manchester's Lubyanka Airport and experience the thrill of witnessing armed police officers kicking and stamping on the heads of youths while a screeching, bossy boots WPC points a taser at your head and tells you to 'get back!'

You don't get that kind of action at Stansted or Gatwick. Well, not yet.

And Saturday nights are gala nights at Manchester Airport, with special guest Charlotte Dujardin, CBE, whipping holidaymakers repeatedly around the departure hall while shouting: 'These are sh** at hitting hard.'

Booking your holiday flight through Greater Manchester Police will make you extra happy to get the hell out of the UK - to somewhere quite nice like Sweden or Switzerland, where suspects don't get thrown to the ground by armed police and kicked repeatedly until their feet get tired.

Picture credit: Wix AI