top of page


It seems that the Yanks are detaining people from countries, which a few months ago it regarded as friends, but who now look at them in a funny way; or they imagine might; then sending them back home in chains, despite import tariffs meaning the cost of chains has gone up by 25%.


The word on the street, is they are likely to be examining social media posting histories from the moment their flight takes off; and anyone found to have posted something that could be construed as less than devoted to the MAGA cause will be met on the airport tarmac by a bunch of thugs and be treated like Hannibal Lecture-Theatre, until such time the Proud Boys and Oaf Keepers have finished with them, before being sent home on Ryanair.


Newsbiscuit sought the advice of Professor M. Odelmaker, who for the price of a pint of Olde and Filthye, told us it is less likely to affect pensioners, who are unlikely to be carrying them new-fangled smartphones, the system will be using to search their posting history on, but if helps to deter the wankers who block his local Waitrose aisles, as they gawp incessantly at them with, it can only be a good thing.





Having given politics a brief whirl and collected the 'Been there, done that, got the tee-shirt' tee shirt, Nicola Sturgeon is now considering ways of furthering her career as a celebrity. Her preferred choices appear to be between Celebrity Dancing, Celebrity Cooking and being a Celebrity Scot.


The other principal option, hanging out on an island somewhere with a bunch of randy teenage knuckle-heads did not appeal to her - 'Too much sunshine! We Scots can't cope with that!'


She has decided to take some time out before launching into her new career as a Top Gear presenter, driving that motorhome.



H/T sirlupus




A couple of round-the-world tourists published a glowing account of their experience of Iran, stating that they were 'having an amazing time'.  However, they have now advised readers that there were 'one or two tiny typographical errors in our previous report.'

'Where we spoke of the 'lovely people' and of a 'lovely country', what we actually meant to say was 'The country is a dangerous, corrupt sh!t-hole and the w@nkers who live there are a load of complete c*nts.'  We regret any confusion which may have been caused by our earlier lack of clarity.'


Picture credit: Wix AI



bottom of page