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Senior Conservative planners say the party's manifesto for the next election is a delicate balance between destroying business with Brexit, destroying the NHS and polluting the planet to death.
'It's a real dilemma that we have to solve,' explained Alexander Grayling-Farquar-Farquar. 'If we destroy the NHS it can be sold to big business, but that's the same big business we're hoping to destroy with Brexit. Coupled with that, we've the balance between destroying the planet and short term electoral gain. Actually, when you put it like that, there's only one option.'
Any of the last five polished Prime Minister turds could have said these words, so it doesn't matter which f*cking one. All demonstrated A-stars in cowardice, earned a First in tragic incompetence, graduated with full honours in piss poor decision making, and were top of their classes in disguising basic knowledge acquisition.
Random chimps with no formal education at all would have done better.
Unhelpfully, there isn't a random chimp party you can vote for, so we're all still stuck with this procession of brain ache.
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