Turnips to form political party

Following comments from the Environment Secretary that eating turnips could be a suitable alternative to other vegetables, the root vegetable is to form a political party.

It's spokesperson, Timothy Turnip said that he felt 'he and his fellow turnips would be a far better alternative to both Coffey and her party.'

'The reality is that we, the humble turnip, not only provide more benefit to the British people than the current government, we also have a lot more integrity as well.'

Story: urbanhermit

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Thérèse Coffey links to "big turnip" revealed

It's been revealed that environment secretary, Thérèse Coffey, has shares in InterTurnip, a massive international conglomerate of turnip farmers spread across 3 continents.

InterTurnip have been accused of feeding the turnip addiction widely found in East Anglian regions with individual turnips changing hands on the street for as much as 20p each.

Social worker, Deirdre Jenkins of Clacton explained the issues; 'I know the kids in the area, I've lived on the same estates and I can confirm they're all bell-ends addicted to glue, cocaine and turnips. So encouraging people to eat turnips, which will raise the values of her shares, is outrageous.'

Thérèse Coffey has admitted that she doesn't eat turnips herself because of cannibalism laws.

Thérèse 'Antoinette' Gaffée offers advice to the hard up