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Paula Vennells (if indeed that’s who it was) today told the Post Office Sub-postmasters Enquiry that she had no recollection of ever having been Paula Vennells.
'I’ve seen - sorry, I’ve now seen - business cards, comp slips, headed notepaper and so forth,' she admitted. 'I concede that someone named Paula Vennells was indeed in charge of the Post Office for some time.
'But to suggest that it was me? I have no recollection of that.'
She went on to say that she had no recollection of ever having posted or received a letter or bought a stamp, and that during the period in question, she was living in Nepal as a goat.
Image by Sharon Ang from Pixabay
It was announced today that the Gramophone Music Awards, aka Grammys, are introducing a new category for the hold music you hear when trying to get through to any public service. "People often assume hold music is written by regular songwriters, who set aside their worst compositions for the purpose," said hold music composer Graham Sawdust today.
"In fact, there's a select few of us who specialise in it. It's actually quite hard to write music that's so irredeemably, soul-sappingly awful that people put down the phone rather than hear it again. Which is of course the intention." Asked whether he writes anything else, Sawdust said he does occasionally come up with something that's pretty dire, but not quite bad enough for hold music. "In which case, I sell it to Taylor Swift."
Music like this, intended as hold music but subsequently recorded by well-known artists, already has its own awards, the MOBOs (standing for "Music of Bland Origin").
By Eppursimuove
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