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Anyone else starting to think 'Tariff' is a good name for a kid?



All this talk of US tariffs has got you thinking - 'Tariff...is that a boy or a girls name?'. The more the word is used, the more it sounds like a exotic rapper or the noise posh people make when they fart.


Tariff? Yeah, Tariff could be a brand of perfume or a silk headband. Tariff is a sophisticated type of coffee or a velvety vol au vent. And who wouldn't want 20% more Tariffs.


The next Kardashian is Tariff. Taylor Swift's new album is Tariff. Tariff is a lingerie model, young enough to date Leonardo Di Caprio. Anyone for more Canadian and Mexican Tariffs? You bet!




Labour secretly supplied Harris with Taylor Swift tickets




Keir Starmer has been forced to deny interfering in a foreign election, despite definitely interfering in a foreign election. In his defense, there were plenty of foreigners interfering with his own election, so really this is just Kama for Kamala.


Using Labour's winning strategy may not be so effective, as no one in the US cares that Harris is not Jeremy Corbyn. Plus, the Democrats have struggled to explain why Kamala Harris is cutting winter fuel allowance and now has a season ticket to Arsenal.


Hundreds of staffers have been sent to key swing states, in the hope that invading Brits will be as popular as they were 250 years ago. Said one activist: 'We hope to make Harris as popular as Starmer.' So she is going to win, right? 'That's not what I said.'


Photo by Stephen Mease on Unsplash

Government freebie scandal continues, as donations to Larry the cat are revealed

Following on from recent news stories regarding freebies received by the PM and other government officials, insiders at no. 10 have leaked information about gifts donated to Larry the Downing Street cat - by none other than the American singer-songwriter, Taylor Swift.


We managed to speak to Larry during a break in his busy schedule of sleeping and eating, and he told us, “When Ms Swift heard the news about the PM receiving free tickets to one of her concerts, she was quite chuffed to know she had fans in the Prime Minister’s household. As she’s a self-confessed ‘cat lady’, she decided to send me a few gifts, including a new collar, a bed and a scratching post. I don’t know why anyone would be upset by that. I needed some new gear, and if Taylor hadn’t provided them they would have had to be paid for out of government coffers, so me accepting those freebies is really saving the tax payers money.


Although I must admit, I didn’t really need the scratching post. I recently came across a portrait of Margaret Thatcher which had been taken down and left leaning up a wall in a spare room, so I’ve been keeping my claws nice and sharp on that.


“As for the PM’s freebies, I don’t think you’ll be seeing those again. I’ve already covered the trousers in cat hair, and I’ve left a small donation of my own in each of his shoes.”


image from pixabay

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