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FA ready to do FA about Spurs’ dodgy billionaire owner




The Football Association is about to take decisive inaction regarding the owner of Tottenham Hotspur being charged with insider trading. Even if he is convicted, Joe Lewis who is worth an estimated £5bn, is unlikely to face another ‘fit and proper person’ test because he’s worth an estimated £5bn.



The latest non-move is seen by some as consistent with the FA’s attitude to the insanely rich Saudi owners of Newcastle. However, the FA denies doing nothing about any possible links between the Saudi’s Public Investment Fund and the murder of a journalist, stating that the FA acted swiftly and decisively to turn a blind eye.


North London man cured of silver allergy

It was announced today that a north London man has been miraculously cured of a silver allergy that has plagued him all his life. The man, known only as Harry K, was so sensitive to the precious metal that he was forced to stay in a special facility in White Hart Lane where he was guaranteed never to encounter any silverware.


It’s not known exactly how he was cured, though he was often observed licking the windows of the sunshine variety coach taking him on days out with his similarly afflicted friends. He said the cure had completely transformed his life, allowing him to travel to places like Munich that would have been off-limits to him before.


Asked whether Harry would learn German during his stay, his manager replied "I doubt it, in 30 years he hardly made any progress with English."



https://pixabay.com/photos/trophies-show-award-trophy-prize-710169/


https://www.newsbiscuit.com/

Hollywood greenlights new film - The Conte of Ouste Nuno

Updated: Dec 25, 2021



A Hollywood studio has given the go ahead to a new film of the timeless classic, The Conte of Ouste Nuno.


The story, thought to have been written by a well-known dumbass, sees the hapless Conte lured into a trap by the treacherous Levy de Manque d'Argent (literally - the north Londoner who lacks silver). Finding himself imprisoned miles away from civilisation in the Chateau Dire, Conte meets another prisoner, the Abbé Harrykané, who says he's been trying to escape for years. Harrykané claims to be so old he can remember Spurs winning something, and also tells Conte of a fortune in silverware, said to be housed in the Chateau's trophy room.


Using the spittle emitted whenever Harrykané speaks, the two of them wet the cement around their prison bars until they're loose enough to remove. When they're about to escape, Harrykané says he can't go with him as he's dying, though Conte suspects he's just feigning injury as usual. Conte breaks out and finds the trophy room, only to discover it contains nothing but dust and a small cup for jointly winning the FA Community Shield in 1991.


Embittered by this dashing of his hopes, Conte falls into a remorseless cycle of despair, anguish and self-pity i.e. he takes the Man United job.






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