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Checking facts is soooo 2024


Hi there, it’s Lyn Floohenzur, your absolute favorite girl is here, for you, telling what is what and how it is, right? Before we get to into the big news, like, the real news, our sponsor today is again the GRU, the number one Russian Military Intelligence Service - hi guys!


As I was like saying to McKinleigh and Jaxton, we all know that there are sooo many diff types of truth out there, and we like have to show total respect to the alternative truths, like, totally yeah? Mikkky G was sayin’ while back that those so called, like, experts are, you know like, we really have had enough of that, you know? Anyway, IronMusk, you know to call him that right, IronMusk, so clever, yeah, well on the X, they have, like, a community of Truth notes that’s like a hive mind of people telling it like it is and it's pretty hot, yeah?


Well Insta is going the same way, like, in a way that's the same, cos like facts are like, biased you know? They all seem to be in your face with the checking and telling you are wrong and like, you don’t own my facts right? Well anyway, don’t forget to subscribe by clicking Alt-right arrow, and smash that like, and see you in 15 seconds!


Picture credit: Wix AI. Probably.

Rees-Mogg announces the publication of a new weekly pamphlet in support of Johnson


It was announced this evening that Jacob Rees-Mogg intends to personally write, publish, print and distribute a new weekly pamphlet in praise of the beleaguered PM. This is understood to be in direct response to what he sees as the unfair witch-hunt against Mr Johnson in the media.


A spokesman for the sepulchral oddity and MP for North East Somerset said: ‘Mr Rees-Mogg has acquired a small printing press and will be producing a most splendid and brightly optimistic communiqué offering Mr Johnson his fulsome and most loyal support. Jacob believes Boris is doing a wonderful job in tackling the pandemic despite never being seen in public other than for photo opportunities. He intends for the pamphlet to set the record straight.


'He will print at least forty copies of the communication, entitled Our Glorious Leader, and he will then personally place one in each of the coaching inns and wayside taverns so prevalent around the environs of the Palace of Westminster.’


When pressed as to whether it might perhaps be more effective and quicker to harness today's plethora of digital technology and media marketing platforms the spokesman replied. 'Mr Rees-Mogg has no time for newfangled gimmicks such as magic lantern apparatus, eleck-tricity and so forth. These he sees as pure evil and the instruments of Satan. Rather, he prefers to do things in a tried and trusted manner.’



First published 3 Jan 2022



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New social network “Bubble” launched



The launch was announced today of a new social networking site named “Bubble”.


'We’re aware that many people have been leaving Twitter/X since Elon Musk took over,” said Bubble’s CEO Jimmy Schmaltz, “citing the number of opinions they were seeing they didn’t agree with.


'Clearly there’s a gap in the market for a social network where people only encounter others with the same political views. And what better name than Bubble?'


Asked whether this didn’t limit the number of potential members, Schmaltz replied, 'Not at all - we envisage not one Bubble but many, along the lines of subreddits. For example, there might be a west coast Bubble, an east coast Bubble, a north London Bubble, and smaller Bubbles within them for Portland, Martha’s Vineyard, Hampstead… it’s really up to the users how much ideological conformity they want to enforce.


'But with any luck, it should be possible to go through life with no idea there’s anyone who disagrees with you, at least until the election results come in.'


Pressed on whether this wasn’t essentially the same as Fox News, speaking only to one narrow segment of the population and not caring that everyone else thinks you’re crazy, Schmaltz said that was just the sort of remark that would get you kicked out of the Silicon Valley Bubble. 


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