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Are you ready for Blue Monday?
Blue Monday is 'the most depressing day of the year' and falls this year on January 20th. The day is associated with feelings of sadness, low motivation, and a lack of energy. But – good news! - you can take action to protect yourself from the doom and gloom.
While many commentators will blather on about exercise, mediation, and not going on a massive bender, here are more practical and down to earth steps that you can take:
1. Avoid dismal stories about Blue Monday. Journalists will be wheeling out their lazy stories about Blue Monday – probably the same one they used last year. You don’t have to put up with this. Buy a Sunday newspaper and make it last through Monday. Or buy your favourite magazine instead. (Remember magazines ? Those things you used to read in WH Smith and then put back on the shelf.) But definitely don’t buy a newspaper on Monday.
2. Replace that non-non-stick frying pan. Few things in life are as depressing as a worn out non-stick pan. Fried eggs that should slide out easily are welded to the black bit on the pan, and get completely banjaxed as you try to lever them off with a spatula. Spare yourself. Replace that pan today!
3. Replace scissors that don’t work. Hot on the heels of dodgy pans are blunt or loose scissors. You know, the ones that chew feebly at plastic bags or bend your fingernails over instead of cutting them. Depressing, but fixable. Fight Blue Monday with a new pair of sharp scissors.
4. Sort out tax returns. Yes, they are due at the end of January, so you’ve messed it up again for this year. Make a diary note to do your tax return in December this year, so you can avoid a dismal January next year.
Finally, remember that there is no science behind Blue Monday.
Charities have co-opted it to promote mental health awareness and self-care, so – in a brilliantly self-defeating way - it gets more publicity than is healthy.
And social media likes to pile on and amplify the whole disheartening fiasco. So you should stay off social media on Monday as well. Instead, make a diary note to cut your fingernails with your new scissors.
Image: WikimediaImages - Pixabay
Facebook has stated that it will comply with anything Musk tells Trump to tell Zuckerberg. With immediate effect, it will cease checking facts. You read that correctly, apparently up to now it has been. Well, to be fair, it checked the facts it passed to Analytica a few years back. Sort of. Anyway, for those concerned what this move means, here is how it will affect you.
Cat videos will almost certainly be AI generated. By cats. They have always controlled that part of Facebook.
Photographs of half-eaten meals will almost certainly be fake. At least we can hope they are fake.
Videos of people falling off buildings in comedic ways will remain to be fake. Unless they originate in Russia, in which case please look away.
Adverts selling tat nobody needs at exorbitant prices will remain. Adverts selling useful stuff at prices too good to be true will remain too good to be true.
All your private and personal data will be sold to anyone and everyone. That wasn't part of the deal, it's just how Facebook works.
A government spokesman stated that the government is unconcerned about the changes to Facebook. 'As far as we can tell the only people still using Facebook are geriatrics, and as we've choked their ability to pay for electricity over the winter they almost certainly won't notice the changes. We're certain we can squeeze more cash out of pensioners by the spring, so they'll continue not to notice the changes.'
Concerned citizens are recommended to change their social media to Friends Reunited, their search engine to Ask Jeeves, and to avoid sharing their personal details with their cat.
Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash
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