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The government has been accused of lacking compassion after thousands of scroats have unexpectedly been released early from prison to make way for Nigel Farage and Tommy Robinson’s rioting mates.
'We thought we'd seen the back of him for long enough to turn our lives around" a Mrs Grout told Newsbiscuit "But the kids have only just got used to their latest dad; and he'll get told to sling his hook sharpish, when the original one comes home.'
More prisoners are expected to be released when the Post Office and Covid Inquiry reports are published to find room for the Tory Party and its corrupt mates.
Social workers however, are warning of potential problems prison workers' families may face after wardens have to spend their days in the company of these dregs of humanity, with no way to vent their anger before they return home.
A suggestion that wardens’ families could be provided with a cat for wardens to kick has been met with outrage by felinists.
As the care sector in the UK continues to struggle with funding issues and staff payment and retention, across the Atlantic care for the elderly is taken extremely seriously if the example we viewed is anything to go by.
The 'White House' in Washington D.C. is a residential home with facilities that many places in the UK can only dream of. As our guide, Mary Koplinski, explained, 'We believe our residents deserve the best as they approach their twilight years.'
The best includes a swimming pool, movie theatre, solarium, music room, chocolate shop, games room and bowling alley. Also impressive is the ratio of staff to residents. Mary told us, 'We currently have one 81-year-old gentleman, who is a little unsteady on his feet and with a tendency to get very confused. However, looking after him is a staff of over 500, attending to his every need. Occasionally he takes little trips out, but we pick him up and help him back to his room. Otherwise he mostly sleeps a lot.'
Unlike UK care home costs of upwards of £1,000 per week per resident, the White House costs are all fully funded. However, every resident does need a bankroll of several million dollars to pay for the application and selection process.
Mary was quite excited about possibly seeing a return visitor in January next year. 'Another elderly gent who was last here about four years ago. Then it was respite care, mainly for his family's benefit, to give them a break. Some of the elderly can be very demanding and at times irrational. This time he will require extra supervision as he's become more paranoid and delusional, but that's fine. We just ensure he doesn't touch anything inappropriate, such as shiny red buttons, or female interns.'
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