The Fire Brigade, which was today praised for the progress it’s made in reducing racism, sexism and all other isms within its ranks, has announced that it’s going to focus on this - and stripping - in future rather than putting out fires.
'The Mayor of London has made it clear to me that this is the priority now,' said Chief Fire Officer Steve Makeweight today. 'It’s a different world, and we have to change with the times.
'And since these new guidelines don’t come with any new funding, they shouldn’t be surprised if we can’t devote so much time to putting out fires in future.'
He went on to say that he welcomed these new priorities because 'they’re much less expensive than actual firefighting.
'After all, you don’t need protective equipment to sit through endless meetings about diversity and sexist language in the workplace. They don’t make a suit that can protect you from condescension and mind-melting tedium.'
'Anyone physically able to be a fireman will be asked to become a fireman-stripper instead.'
Image: WixAI
