Scottish govt to issue driver's licences to five-year-olds

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Scottish councils change public toilet signs to 'Nae Fuds' and 'Wi Fuds'

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Labour in favour of Will Smith smacking your children

Rather than mirror Scottish laws, the Labour Party supports chastising children using a Hollywood A-lister, a flick of the wrist and a heart felt apology via their agent. The compromise of outsourcing the smacking, means parents can keep a clear conscience and Mr Smith can keep in work - now the movies have dried up.

The Shadow Health Secretary insisted that getting spanked by Will Smith had never done him any harm and was worth every penny: 'As long as it doesn't leave a mark or lead to anyone losing an Oscar'.