After a long eon at the Cosmic Furnace ...

US scientists have grown cress on moon dust

Hadron Collider re-calibrated to detect Boris’s integrity

A scientist explained: ‘We are looking for the smallest part of the Universe, which we believe is the PM’s sub-atomic ethical impulse. Previously, the smallest element was Boris’s loyalty as a spouse.’

Other small things the collider will detect are Brexit dividends, Priti Patel’s love of immigrants and Liz Truss’ chance of posing for a non-stupid photograph. ‘We hope that once we find the PM’s integrity, this will open up an alternate Universe, where he knows what he is doing’.

Image from Pixabay by geralt