Plot of Inception hailed 'visionary' as Uxbridge folds over on itself

Following the plot structure of the 2010 movie Inception with Leonardo DiCaprio, half of Uxbridge has bent upwards towards the sky and then folded back over to a point which seems surreal, but is oddly compelling.

A slight majority of residents are unable to follow the plot of a Peppa Pig episode, never mind the complexities of a Christopher Nolan film. Unable to process the meaning of a Cobb's totem which has been spinning perpetually since 2015, they elected to stick with a Conservative MP because perpetual spin is something they keep being told is good for them.

A local woman who wasn't still being smashed in the face by a Conservative Party activist said, 'Uxbridge sounds lovely, but look at the state of it. Anyone who comes to live here willingly is a white ghillie suit short of a tundra scenario.'

Unable to wake up from a nightmare within a nightmare, the people of Uxbridge are now left in a zero G van crash going over the side of a garden bridge in sloooooooow motion.

photo: https://pixabay.com/users/johnsonmartin-724525/

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Dr Who is 'pure shite' claims new study

A new study has slammed Dr Who as being "pure shite". Furthermore it goes on to claim it’s only fear of being seen as uncool that stops most people saying what they really think.

One Sci Fi superfan, Simon Carter, said: ‘If I’m being completely honest Dr Who is very much the “Crossroads” of the genre. Its rather stiff, starchy and quintessentially drab British vibe, not to mention shonky special effects, looking like they cost about one pound-fifty per episode, are to blame.

‘Compared to Star Trek it’s dire. But because of the massive hype surrounding the show's puzzling longevity, it’s become completely taboo to slag it off, in much the same way as one daren't even think about criticising athletes since the London 2012; especially the Brownlee Brothers.’

However, Whovian Society Secretary and self-styled Emperor Grombitz of Glarg, Albert Tompkins-Harris, has hit back: ‘DW is a fabulous programme with amazing stories and production values. Were I to choose a phrase to sum it up it would have to be "utter Daleks".'

photo: https://pixabay.com/users/aitoff-388338/

Terry Pratchett 'never liked fantasy' says journalist who never read his books

Despite his words, actions, testimony of friends and family, many now believe that the author of 41 Discworld novels, had nothing to do with the SciFi/Fantasy genre. Said one journalist: 'I've researched him thoroughly and can confirm he never wrote The Lord of the Rings.

'I'll go further. I don't believe there is any evidence that he knew how to write or that his name was Pratchett. And if I'm wrong why doesn't he say so. And don't use the excuse that he's been dead since 2015. That means nothing'.

An alarming number of journalists and commentators have been co-opting dead people to support their spurious arguments. Said one: 'Oscar Wilde was anti-LGBTQ+. How do I know? Ouija board'.

Meanwhile Pratchett most famous work 'The Colour of Magic' was dismissed as containing no reference to fantasy whatsoever. Remarked one smug journalist: 'It's not as if it has magic in the title.'