top of page
Search
Writer's pictureSir Lupus
Dec 20, 2021

Cleaner becomes PM because she's the only gov't member not to have to resign over Xmas party




Following news that the civil servant leading the inquiry into the 10 Downing Street Christmas party has resigned because he also organised an illegal Christmas party, everyone in government - MPs, Lords and civil servants alike - has admitted that they also attended illegal Christmas parties last year, and has resigned. It appears that the only person employed by the government who did not organise or attend an illegal Christmas party in 2020 is Downing Street cleaner Grace Richards, 27, who will now become Prime Minister and form a new government.


The Labour Party was initially approached for this role, but its leader Keir Starmer said that he fully supported the government's action, and so his party would resign also. The Liberal Democrat HQ was on answerphone "following a big night for us", and the SNP said that they had no interest in taking responsibility for "that shambles south of Gretna Green".


Ms Williams said she "would need to have a bit of a think" before announcing her Cabinet and programme for office, but suggested that "taking money out of billionaires' offshore bank accounts and putting it into the NHS, higher wages for key workers, and a lot more buses on the 29 route to Westminster" would be among her key policies.




Writer's pictureapepper
Dec 12, 2021

Covid restrictions cause queue of chickens waiting to come home to roost outside No 10


A queue of chickens has built up outside 10 Downing Street. When questions, members of the queue explained that they were waiting to come home to roost but Covid restrictions meant that only a small number are allowed in at a time.


"I'm here about a certain blonde 'telecoms advisor'.", explained Ms Clucky, "But I've simply got to wait my turn while the Christmas parties and redecoration chickens are in there building a nest."


It's thought that Downing Street has put pressure on the Health Department to introduce even more stringent restrictions on chickens but the Health Minister has resisted saying, "It just feels a bit odd to single out chickens."


Further down the queue, there is some despondency; "I don't think I'll ever get in.", said Mrs Peckpeck of Peckham. "I'm here with a group of friends about made up articles in the Spectator, but we've two mistresses and the Brexit bus in front of us."






bottom of page