Trump University to reopen with new courses and promises not to be a massive scam

After being shut down for being a massive scam, Trump University is to reopen with a brand-new set of courses for the easily manipulated.

Media Control and Propaganda Studies

The fact that you enrolled in this course shows how successful this can be

Financial Mismanagement and Money Laundering

How to prevent people following the money

Crypto investing and swindling

You will learn all sorts of new investment techniques such as “rug pulls” and “Pump and dump” which are just as hideous as they sound.

Construction Engineering of Internment camps

Lessons cover tower construction, field of fire management and anti-tunnel techniques along with how best to include a children’s play area.

Revisionist History with alternative studies

Did Hitler really do anything wrong?

Extracurricular activities could involve joining the same-coloured shirt society, this year’s colour is brown.

Image: WixAI

When you've thought up a killer line for the scam caller...

Promising new wonder-drug abandoned because its name was too easy to pronounce

Who is going to trust a drug called 'Cancer-gone', 'Alz-cure' or 'Stroke-fix'? These are obviously a con from some dodgy get-rich-quick pharmascam company. Especially if they're also affordable (just).

To carry any credibility, any real new wonder-drug must have an unpronounceable name - and of course also be utterly unaffordable.

So there are great hopes for recently-announced Fixanydiseasealmostinstantlywithnegligibleriskandabsolutelynosideeffectsiscan, at £20million per dose, from the TitusScamedical corp., based in the Cayman Islands (entirely, of course, because the specific climate there is essential for this particular drug's production).

Picture credit: Wix AI