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Olympics get sent to Coventry

Writer: stewartbarclaystewartbarclay
10 hours ago


The International Olympic Committee has sent the 2036 Olympics to Coventry.


'No, not the silent treatment' said an IOC delegate, from behind a pile of brown envelopes. 'Our new President's surname is Coventry, so I just thought we should just go with it. Olympic Games host cities are Tier 1 world cities, although it does sound like the Reliant Robin in Only Fools and Horses - Paris, Los Angeles... Coventry.'


'Coventry has a ring road and the Olympics have rings. Coventry is famous for that naked lady on a horse and in the Ancient Olympics many competitors were naked, so it all checks out. Nudity will certainly add a frisson to the show jumping for sure. Un-dressage!'




Government warns Newsbiscuit contributors to be extra careful if travelling to USA

Writer: ModelMakerModelMaker
13 hours ago


It seems that the Yanks are detaining people from countries, which a few months ago it regarded as friends, but who now look at them in a funny way; or they imagine might; then sending them back home in chains, despite import tariffs meaning the cost of chains has gone up by 25%.


The word on the street, is they are likely to be examining social media posting histories from the moment their flight takes off; and anyone found to have posted something that could be construed as less than devoted to the MAGA cause will be met on the airport tarmac by a bunch of thugs and be treated like Hannibal Lecture-Theatre, until such time the Proud Boys and Oaf Keepers have finished with them, before being sent home on Ryanair.


Newsbiscuit sought the advice of Professor M. Odelmaker, who for the price of a pint of Olde and Filthye, told us it is less likely to affect pensioners, who are unlikely to be carrying them new-fangled smartphones, the system will be using to search their posting history on, but if helps to deter the wankers who block his local Waitrose aisles, as they gawp incessantly at them with, it can only be a good thing.




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