'Gay penguins stole our election' claim Republicans

Nothing says 'bad loser' like a defeated Republican. That's why the Party of racist misogyny has already got its gay penguin ducks in a row.

'It's the button push of the century,' said campaign strategist Carlton Taylor. 'Nothing riles Republican voters like gay penguins, so that's who we're going to blame the election loss on this time.

'They'll be heading for the streets of DC in their pickups, tooled to the teeth like Clint Eastwood talking to an empty punk chair. And all we have to do is put the message out there that gay penguins stole their election.

'Ballot papers with the name Sphen on them are mocked up and ready to go. They're gonna rip through social media like Monkeypox through a chimp tea party.'

Image: Pixabay/u_z3u7n7e7

People's Democratic Republic of America flirts with concept of democracy

'Sure, why not?' said Secretary General Dick Traitorship. 'When we overthrow the evil Democrat leadership in a military coup by storming the Capitol Building and the White House, we will restore some form of free and fair election system.

'The main problem with democracy is the electorate. Despite all the evidence that their votes count for nothing, some people still can't stop themselves voting for a Democrat Dictatorship. They seriously fear freedom, which I know many will find hard to comprehend outside the People's Democratic Republic of America.

'It might sound ridiculous to some, perhaps even like a dangerous thing to say, but we need to be more open, fair and progressive. Like Russia, China and North Korea.

'We must continue to support and revere our Most Benevolent General Secretary of the Republican Party, Donald Jesus Trump. He will 'fix' everything, put an end to people ageing and dying, and instantly bring world peace. He is the only one who can lead a glorious revolution and install a Thousand Year Democracy in this great land.'

image from pixabay

Biden congratulates J D Wetherspoon on Vice President nomination

.