Farage to be Reform candidate for every constituency

Following news that a YouTuber is standing for election in 11 separate London constituencies, the Reform party has branded him a 'millennial underachiever' and announced that party CEO Nigel Farage is personally standing for election in all 650 UK parliamentary constituencies.

The former commodities trader will also conduct 100% of the Reform Party's media engagements, write all their policies personally, and collect the majority of all donations to the party in line with his status as majority shareholder - whether those donations are made by credit card or in the form of coins thrown at him in the street.

Responding to accusations that Reform was a 'one man band', a spokesperson for Mr Farage, giving his name as Figel Narage, said 'Nonsense, we are a very diverse band in fact. We also have Richard and his friends as the backing financiers, Mr Farage as lead tub thumper, and a completely different person called Mr Garage on dog whistle.'

Image: Newsbiscuit

A political discussion over lunch

Nigel Farage accused of threatening to make election almost interesting

Good old Nigel Farage, who hopes to become MP for Claptrap on Sea, has promised to reform Reform after staging a one-man coup and becoming its Supreme Leader. 

Voters in the constituency of Claptrap are grateful that they will now have an alternative to Count Binface as a candidate to vote for if they wish to wave two fingers at the tedious leaders of all of the serious but boring 'real' political parties.

Farage has certainly been popular, drawing crowds and receiving well-meaning, but poorly-aimed, dairy-based beverages.

imgae from pixabay