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Boris Johnson has issued a statement that after the result of the vote of no confidence, the Conservative Party will "definitely" draw a line in the sand and unite.


"I'm completely confident that this time the party will unite", said a shaking Boris Johnson, "Yes, the referendum caused slight differences of opinion to emerge. And the immediate resignation of the prime minister straight afterwards and months of clueless dithering may have led a tiny amount of instability. Yes, I have to hold my hands up to a tiny amount of plotting against Theresa May, but if I didn't do that, I wouldn't be prime-minister now - so that's a positive. However, now that over half the party has back me, we can put divisions behind us."


Jeremy Hunt has strongly disagreed.


Image from pixabay




An advocate for a second referendum explained: 'I hear a lot of negativity about Nuclear winters, but who doesn't like to snuggle up, with a nice matching sweater from John Lewis? This is an opportunity to reject Brexit - after all, you can't leave Europe if there is no Europe to leave.


'We need to support the Ukraine and their affordable au pairs. Nuclear holocaust is backed by 48% of the public, which from my perspective, is a stonking majority'.



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