Farage fury at Reform candidate's lack of racist social media posts

A Reform UK spokesman adjusted his police mandated ankle tag before bellowing 'Our party has a rich history of racism. As Nigel said, most people are racists, so why not cut out the middle man and vote for us.'

'Disappointingly, some Reform candidates have only been publicly spewing hate in the dim and distant past - as far back in archaeological time as 2022 in some cases. Saying Hitler had some good ideas is on brand for us, but that post needs to have been made within the last year, otherwise you're basically part of the woke agenda destroying Britain. Why do you hate Britain so much eh?'

Asked about Rishi Sunak's hasty D-Day retreat, the spokesman spat contemptuously 'Here at Reform UK, we believe that fascism is a core British Value. We venerate all those soldiers that gave their lives on D-Day, defending fascism.'

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Farage to be Reform candidate for every constituency

Following news that a YouTuber is standing for election in 11 separate London constituencies, the Reform party has branded him a 'millennial underachiever' and announced that party CEO Nigel Farage is personally standing for election in all 650 UK parliamentary constituencies.

The former commodities trader will also conduct 100% of the Reform Party's media engagements, write all their policies personally, and collect the majority of all donations to the party in line with his status as majority shareholder - whether those donations are made by credit card or in the form of coins thrown at him in the street.

Responding to accusations that Reform was a 'one man band', a spokesperson for Mr Farage, giving his name as Figel Narage, said 'Nonsense, we are a very diverse band in fact. We also have Richard and his friends as the backing financiers, Mr Farage as lead tub thumper, and a completely different person called Mr Garage on dog whistle.'

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