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A controversial draft for changing the UN's DHR has been proposed. "Breaking into your house and shooting you counts as self-defence if I have reason to think you might be dangerous."


The nationality of the draft's sponsor, Moshe Cohen, has not been confirmed officially. Moshe insisted," Obviously, there would need to be racial safeguards built into the amendment. White men with red necks would have a prima facie case to suspect danger from dark-skinned folk but the reverse would not apply. Haitians & other well-known pet eaters would need to prove their pacifist intentions. While the Bible could be cited to justify suspicions the Quran could not be considered equally."


A man wearing a towel on his head spoke out against the proposal. "Such a law would open the door for foreign nations to target the Knesset as  fair game for missiles as the military leaders of the IDF are well known to use it as a venue for meetings. This could set a dangerous precedent whereby gangs of medieval men would not be free to enslave & oppress any females who chanced to be born in 'their back yard.' "


Most national leaders declared they would not be able to offer any judgement on the amendment without consultation with & analysis from their financial advisors. The bankers were considered likely to be the deciding force.


image from pixabay


A spokesman said, 'The recent riots have been very disappointing. It seems that no-one has paid any attention to our earlier reports on civil unrest in England, and that no lessons have been learned.


'OfRiot assesses civil unrest against four key criteria – quality, behaviour and attitude, personal development and leadership and management.


'Quality issues seem to persist in English riots. The issues raised are poorly articulated and not well-supported with evidence. There appears to be little democratic mandate for protest – the protestors are very much in a minority. Their demands are unrealistic, poorly articulated, and poorly presented. Do these people not know how to make a banner or a poster? It's all very disappointing – we barely seemed to have moved on from the riots in the 70s. We have therefore rated quality as inadequate.


'Behaviour and attitude is also inadequate. The protestors' attitude is very poor. They seem less concerned with making their point, or arguing for alternatives, and more concerned with drinking, shouting and chucking stuff. Do they actually care about the issue, or do they just want a fight? Their clothing does not suggest that they are taking the protests seriously – it's all just dirty t-shirts with faded logos of 70s heavy metal bands covering beer guts. We honestly thought we'd moved on from throwing beer cans, casual arson and fist waving. It's hardly Socratic dialogue, is it?


'We are also seriously concerned about personal development. None of those attending the protests is likely to achieve any personal growth. The protestors do not appear to have been properly briefed and have little understanding of the intended benefits of rioting. The most likely outcomes are getting whacked by riot police, or getting fined, or ending up in chokey. Do they still call it chokey?


'The only area of assessment which is above the bottom rating is leadership and management. The organisation by social media does show a passable understanding of communication and marketing basics. The organisers have used social media to reasonable effect, despite appearing unclear who their target audience is. However, the protests have been poorly organised on the ground, with few stewards, no hi-viz jackets, and no loud hailers. Hardly anyone remembered to bring aerosol paint. Transport to the events has been poor, with protestors scraping together petrol money and travelling together in old Transit vans or dodging fares on the train. There is no review of lessons learned after each riot, and no improvement plan. This is hopeless, amateurish stuff.


Our overall assessment is 'Inadequate'. It's clear that massive improvements are required if the group are to stand any chance of achieving their objectives. And they will have to wait until they get out of chokey.'


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