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Works night out piss-up facilitators, the Glug and Cabbage pub chain, has announced that it will charge extra for drinks at happy hour and also for additional baggage beyond one carry-on item. Emotional baggage will remain free and is indeed encouraged as it contributes to both sales and fights.
Drinks will be available to pre-book up to 3 months in advance, with double vodka and lambrini in the week before Xmas now available for 99p - increasing to £30 on the night. These moves are part of the chain's expansion into new venues in abandoned agricultural buildings that are 'within 30 minutes by taxi, with luck' of the local high street.
'Why can't things just have one price any more?' lamented token person in the street Les Ismor. 'It's enough to drive you to drink.'
President Biden attempted to order a Guiness cocktail in O'shaunessy's Irish pub yesterday and may have caused a diplomatic crisis, Newsbiscuit's Dublin reporter says. Hoping to be served a Black Russian, the President is said to have inadvertently asked for a "Black Commie Bastard".
The White House claims the barman probably misheard the President and blames the band for a playing a rousing rendition of The Patriot Game which had many of the pubgoers singing along to.
Having eventually been served his drink, the President thanked the pub for its hospitality and declined an invitation to stay until the fight started.
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