Prince Andrew has been banned from the Royal Christmas, following his links to Chinese spies - as opposed to his links to sex traffickers, which is more of a Halloween event. An insider confirmed: 'Andrew has said he has cut off ties with the Chinese, but he'll be hungry for more in a hour.'
Andrew still remains in the line of succession, but now sonewhere behind Prince Assad. On his coat of arms is latin motto is 'Persona non grata' and the picture of Jimmy Savile.
He will now be enjoying Christmas Home Alone, although family members have said they would rather he Die Hard. PR wise he is the Nightmare Before Xmas. He has also been warned not to date any more teenage girls - as this is not Love, Actually. How he got away with it before is a Miracle on 34th Street, but being the Queen's favourite means you are immune to prosecution - proving It's A Wonderful Life.
Image: ashsmith - Pixabay
