The entire parliamentary Conservative party has had the party whip removed.
"They all know what they've done.", explained a grim faced Craig Whittaker, former chief whip. "I don't think the party wants to be associated with any of them. Mr Whittaker is believed to be wrestling with the problem of who can restore the whip if they don't have any MPs.
Rishi Sunak, now an independent Prime Minister, was asked if he would consider standing again. "I am standing.", said an irritated Sunak.
Observers say that they are "disappointed" after the UK economy nosed-dived after the much anticipated relaunch failed to gain enough height.
The pilot, Captain Sunak, made a safe take off of the PM 3 Dumbo. He then released the Hunt engineered Econ-bomb vehicle. All was thought to be going well. However, failure followed as the second stage failed. Pundits believe that the "anomaly" was caused by a lack of maths skills coupled with the failure of the 5-point booster which failed to move the craft into the anticipated orbit.
It has emerged that the take off nearly didn't take place at all as they had invited a Mr Kwarteng to make the countdown:
10, 9, 3, 6, 5, 2, 8, 1 Zero.
A strange fellow (not featured) without a mandate but who still insists he is definitely Prime Minister has pledged to keep having the same problems, not only for 2023, but put it into the Conservative manifesto for the next election.
'I can promise today that we will carry on the same series of disastrous policies and decisions for the rest of this parliament which will continue until at least 2025. Not only that, if elected we will introduce a Department of Ineptness (the DoE), that will examine all government polices to make sure that we maintain a level of incompetence around 4 or 5 Graylings out of 10. Any higher than that means that we've tried to physically replace planes with trains and we're really in trouble.'
