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Rumours about the autumn budget continue to swirl around, each one madder than the one before. It’s hard to figure out what’s what. Here’s the latest from the rumour mill.
Commentators, by which we mean people who leak stuff to us, are now suggesting that the budget could include an additional tax allowance for heathy people.
Governments have always been reluctant to bring in a fat tax, because taxing food is a slightly tricky move. Actually, lots of food is already taxed. Cakes, chocolate, fizzy drinks are all subject to VAT, for example, whereas turnips, sprouts and offal aren’t. Basically, VAT is charged on anything that is nice to eat.
The new tax break, provisionally called a wellness allowance, will allow any taxpayer with a BMI in the normal range to reduce their income tax bill. If they send in a doctor’s certificate confirming their BMI, then the HMRC will grant the new allowance for the current tax year.
A spokesman said, ‘The wellness allowance is not a fat tax, it’s a benefit that is available to people who look after their weight. It’s not a sugar tax, or a meat tax, or a pasty tax, or a carpet tax, or any other nonsense. It’s a wellness benefit. This is positive reinforcement for good behaviour and will help to reduce the burden on the NHS. I don't want to read anything about the Nanny State when you write this up.
‘People will naturally worry about the cost of this benefit, against the backdrop of a £40bn tax raid this year. Let me reassure you that the paperwork involved, and difficulty of getting a GP appointment, will mean that almost nobody will be able to claim the allowance. If anyone manage to claim it for one year, they probably won’t bother again for the next year. So the government will get the credit for doing a Good Thing at minimal cost. It’s genius.’
Cheesed-off business leaders have started a campaign against the increase in employers NI that is likely to be in the budget later this month.
One fat cat told us, ‘If our costs go up, then we will have to put our prices up. A big mac could hit five quid. Tea in a National Trust café could hit six quid. Scones could be a fiver each. It’s not going to be pretty. This will fuel inflation and cause a wage price spiral that could see Russia invading Moldova and the melting of all the arctic ice.
‘Luckily, there is still time for the chancellor to see sense, and to decide to cut benefits for work-shy dossers instead. If she could see her way clear to doing that, then we can happily keep paying for government ministers to have smart new clothes, designer spectacles, gig tickets, and Premier League football boxes. Simples.’
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