Another massive compo payout for the ill-informed and easily manipulated

In a further blow for all the people who read the small print, they will miss out yet again on free money.

The otherwise pristine reputation of car salesman has been tarnished by a court judgement on car finance 'secret' commission payments. Anyone who meticulously sourced their own finance and didn’t just nod and sign when buying a car may miss out on a wad of compensation spondoolicks.

Reading a carefully worded statement, a representative of all the people who are cautious and diligent when undertaking large financial transactions said: 'Dammit, not again!'

The PPI scandal (Payment Protection Insurance), not the PPE scandal (Personal Protective Equipment), was a massive score for anyone who didn't decline the blatant needless extra costs that were greedily added by banks. Compensation for PPI mis-selling was a major act of justice that prevented banks from committing fraud for several weeks.

Although not as complicated as another classic bank mis-selling technique known as the Interest Rate Swap switcheroo, which at least made the effort of being deliberately confusing, this cheeky manoeuvre on car finance was as basic as just hiding the commission details.

A nodding fool exclaimed, 'Yes Boieee! I am a financial genius and will learn nothing!'

Photo by Stockcake: chequebook-illustration-art_557595_195734

Afghan translators concerned about spam emails

With the release of 250 email addresses of former Afghan translators by the MoD, many are living in fear of being targeted by spammers, phisheres and other nefarious abusers of online abuse. 'I've emailed the Taliban to see if they can't do something about it,' said one one former translator who wished to remain anonymous (number forty-one on the list). 'It was bad enough when the MoD issued us with mobile phones and published the numbers - I don't even know what PPI is, let alone think I've been mis-sold it,' said another un-named translator (number two hundred and two on the list, just below Ahmed Khali, who also asked to for his identity to be kept secret).

The MoD has apologised for 'a slightly inconvenient release of data' but has stressed it has kept most of the information pertinent to the translators secret - such as if and when they will be repatriated and where they can redeem their Nectar points if they don't get to leave Afghanistan.

Man who was never mis-sold PPI demands compensation

'My neighbour claimed for PPI, and he got £13000. His cousin got £12000. Me - I didn't get a penny,' complained Bruce Aldridge today. 'I never fell for that PPI shit - first they tried pre ticking the box, I always spotted that, then they did the dirty little trick where they left the box empty, but you had to tick it to opt out. Sneaky, but it never caught me out,' he added.

Bruce is fuming that he's being penalised for being aware of the scams banks were playing. 'I could have let them mis-sell to me and I'd be loaded now, but because I've been careful I'm the only person in my group who can't afford to go on holiday next year. Bruce is campaigning for compensation for those who didn't get mis-sold PPI. 'There must be dozens like me,' he said today.

Image: Pixabay/Scott Graham