Dogs at Polling Stations mortified by Tory owners

Cuddly and sad-faced pooches have been photographed being adorable at polling places up and down the country as local election fever grips almost no-one at all.

One golden retriever, who suspects his owner is a Tory voter, woofed ‘I used to think an exit poll was a particularly unpleasant bowel movement, but when my owner can’t meet my eye after voting, I sense his Tory shame. As a dog, deliberate NHS underfunding and a slide towards privatisation have no bearing on me at all. But how many humans look at that and think 'I will never be ill or die – the Tories seem fine to me'. Maybe they admire the naked corruption and raw incompetence? Kay Burley said there was sadness in my eyes. The Tories are the reason why, although I will say I’m in favour of how many dead cats they produce.’

Image from Pixabay by Birgl

https://pixabay.com/photos/dog-golden-retriever-puppy-small-4671215/

Polling staff request dogs tied to railings outside of polling stations are removed

As the polls closed the staff at polling stations have realised the statistically improbable average of 2.7 mongrel dogs tethered to the railings outside polling stations aren't going to be collected.

'It was great when the photographers were here,' said one polling station manager, 'because the press aren't allowed to photograph members of the public so it gives them something to photograph. But now we have a collection of dogs, a mountain of turds, I've spent the tea and coffee budget on Winalot and I can't go home until I've rehoused the mutts,' he added.

Experts are predicting a surplus of hang-dog photographs in the coming days in the press, but as one noted 'that's Boris' normal demeanour these days,'.

Outside the polling station