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Updated: May 13, 2023
28 year old Jason Smith had no idea that a simple stint with hallucinogens would give way to a life-altering experience.
"It was amazing" the moustachioed Jason shared. "It was like having this epiphany that everyone in the world has feelings, that everyone has their own lives. Sounds crazy, right?"
Since his enlightening encounter, Jason has taken to captivating his friends and women in line at Starbucks with his profound insights on the fabric of human nature.
"It's even made me, like, think about some of the things I've done before; I remember how, in the past, when a girl didn't want to sleep with me, I'd bring up my dead Grandma. She died in 1997 but at the very least I'd get a sympathetic hand job. Now I'm thinking that maybe that wasn't a good thing to do. Is there a word for that?"
The perspicacious youth has now started a podcast to share his new-found wisdom with other men his age.
Cara
Image:Tama66 | Pixabay
'It's been a tough couple years', explained the unnamed celebrity. 'I've gone from regularly appearing on TV, to regularly appearing on TV, to explain why I'm no longer on TV'.
At the launch of his new book, covering how he is no longer published, he said: 'The Internet is filled with an angry woke mob. I have to post a dozen inflammatory comments every day, just to get a reaction.
'I'm rich, white and middle-aged - where can I go to be heard these days? I literally have no platform to express myself, as I explained to my 200,000 Facebook followers.
'I've been cancelled - which is incidentally the name of my next movie'.
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