Horsemen of the Apocalypse revealed as 'generous' Tory party donors

As riderless horses roamed the streets of central London, the Government accused the 'woke elite' of getting a little heavy-handed with their metaphors.

Tory intern Henry Hootington-Hurst said 'Is it the end of days or just a guerrilla marketing campaign for Lloyds Bank?'

'I looked, and behold, a pale horse. And the rider's name was Nigel Farage. What else? Boris Johnson is humping things and chanting in Latin - nothing new there. Michael Gove has assumed his reptilian form and is hissing at everyone he's double crossed - so that's everyone. Nadine Dorries is doing readings from her latest book - whilst speaking in tongues. All fairly standard stuff.'

'War, Famine, Pestilence and Death... they are simply four key Tory promises.'

image from pixabay

Humza Yousaf leaves his greens

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Wildlife with David Attaboy

It is a cold and wet night in the Bigg Market, but that does not deter Geordie 'lads' from strutting in their T-shirts. Displaying on their chests 'Toon', 'Tits oot', and ' Top Sh@gger'.

Likewise, the 'lasses' parade in short tight skirts, almost displaying their reproductive organs.

The males exchange their calls of approval: 'bonny', 'fit', 'stacked', and 'gagging fer it'.

Any contact between the sexes will take place later in the evening after they have visited the many watering holes in the area, where everyone will get 'tanked oop'. Perhaps they may exchange conversation in the bars where deafening music plays. Using such phrase as 'are you up for it?', 'I'm gagging for it', and the age old 'you don't sweat much for a fat bird'.

Sadly, many of the encounters will not fulfill the desired coition. Many will be passed out on the pavement or 'howking their guts up' by the bins.

Next week, we witness a 'punch up' between rival gangs out side a club in Swansea.

Image: 3345557 - Pixabay

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