Palestinians join the endangered list

Recent attacks have seen Palestinians ranked below Giant Pandas and only slightly above the Dodo. Their chance of surviving is now on par with the Diplodocus or the next Chelsea manager.

While capable of breeding in captivity, Palestinians have become the target of big game hunters - specifically all those who think a two state solution is a big game.

Sadly, since the Nakba they have lost much of their natural habitat. A wildlife expert was asked to comment on anti-Palestinian legislation: 'If they were cuter, people would be more inclined to support them. As environmental battles go, it's David Attenborough versus Goliath.'

image from pixabay

www.newsbiscuit.com

Clerical error leads to Labour Party suspending ‘disbelief’

Having suspended thousands of party members, many in error, the Labour Party has targeted the abstract concept of ‘Disbelief’. This means being banned from the annual conference, despite other attendees including Boredom, Hypocrisy and Dumbf$ckery.

Unconfirmed reports that even suspenders have been suspended; said one member: ‘We have had to remove a set of bright red bracers for their support of trousers and of Palestinian rights’.

Party leaders have worked out that their best route to electoral success, is getting rid of all the membership, polices and the whiff of democracy. Said one executive: ‘And if only we can work out a way to ban all the voters as well…’