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After Donald 'Guilty AF' Trump rattles off a bit more crime, the rest of the population sighs and has a look at the vast array of evidence. This crime was apparently committed during a live streaming event with a known rapist influencer. Many journalists watched and videoed the law-breaking which involved the twice impeached former president holding a copy of today’s newspaper. Most of his family (not Melania) stood behind him, cheering the criminal activities on and writing about it in detail on their chosen methods of social media.


Later in the day, the convicted felon was handing out signed confessions to his followers and selling a commentative 'I did this crime' coin. An NFT of the crime is available for a limited time only. The hundreds of Police officers who watched the crime mostly had their cameras turned off or lost the footage due to an unexpected software update. The Secret Service crime assistants have recorded this event in exact detail for their upcoming autobiographies but currently were unsure of the facts.


Donald Trump has already released a song with Kid Rock called 'I love committing crime' which is already number one in the confession charts. His latest autobiography called 'I definitely did it' is to be released before the election with a prewritten forward from the late OJ Simpson.


It a statement on his own personal social network, Donald Trump has said 'It’s a scam' and therefore no further action will be taken.


Image: Wix AI



Despite footage that placed him at the scene of his own demise, a jury has ruled that he could not have fitted into the tiny coffin he was said to wear. His lawyer remarked: 'My client is accused of being deceased on the flimsiest of evidence. Just because he's not breathing and is starting to stink, is no indication of intent. He's probably just sleeping or in a stiffened state.'


DNA results suggested an exact match between the body of OJ Simpson and the alive version of OJ Simpson. His driver's license bares a startlingly resemblance to the corpse. Even family members identified the body, although police say his ex-wife was unavailable for comment.


'At this time, my client just wants the press to respect his privacy to grieve and decompose quietly.'




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