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Public demand silent Drake album



While UK artists protest AI copyright with silent songs, music fans have asked for Drake to do the same...permanently. Said one frustrated rap fan: 'I'm tired of listening to an auto-tune shopping list. He's what happens when you set Dr. Seuss to a metronome.'


The threat of AI to original content is huge, but the threat of Drake's actual content, is worse. 'It's hard to sing about the ghetto when you've been playing hockey in Toronto. He then over-compensates by dropping the N-word every 5 seconds to stop people falling asleep. He uses the N-word more than a KKK member with Tourette's.'


Asked if AI planned copy Drake, the AI replied: 'No, even we have standards.'


Picture credit: Wix AI

Spice Girls tribute act determined to remain pros for 30th year


A tribute act known widely throughout Luton and Dunstable as the Spice Grills, put their success down to not splitting up after seven years.



'I'm not gonna give up the trappings of being fingered in the box up the Old Kennilworth Theatre by BoyzOwn and Vestlife,' confirmed 53-year-old Baby Spice. 'Whichever one is which.'



'Girl cough Power,' spluttered Mousy Spice.



'Here, chuck us another Superking Slim and a McEwan's Export,' piped up Dead Posh for the first time in four years.



'Hey, d'ya remember that time I pinched the Prince of Wales's bum?' asked Hairy Spice, unsure of what she came into the room for.



'Yeah, Hairy,' groaned the others, almost in harmony.



'Hang on, it wasn't the Prince of Wales, it was Felton John,' said Baby, still in the corner.



'No it weren't, it were his brother, you know, the Gary Glitter fella,' corrected Mousy. 'But we can't say his tribute act name for legal reasons.'



Sports Injury Spice remained silent throughout, due to a throat injury caused during a game of crown green bowls.


(Article courtesy of Smashits, the leading tribute act music magazine.)


Stevie Wonder’s part-time lover wins equal rights




A part-time lover of Stevie Wonder was celebrating today after a court ruled she was entitled to equal treatment with the singer’s first wife.



Mandy Myers, a regular lover of Wonder during the height of his fame in the 1980s, argued that she had been denied a range of benefits enjoyed by his wife, including a shared house and basic levels of interaction and respect.



‘The facts of this case are well-known, through the surprisingly open statement made by Wonder about his extra-marital arrangements on his groundbreaking Square Circle album in 1985,’ noted the judge in the case.



‘Miss Myers always had to play second fiddle. After a seemingly pleasant evening of lovemaking, Wonder would regularly sit bolt upright and screech at her to leave his house, saying only, ‘Call up, ring once, and hang up the phone, to let me know you made it home,’ noted the judge. ‘Amazing vocal range, but he needs to work on his bedside manner.’



In court, the jury heard 10 instances of the singer referring to Miss Myers as his ‘part-time lover’ as the 7 inch version of the song was played to the court, but they were mercifully spared the 36 mentions on the extended 12-inch version.


Under the terms of the settlement, Wonder will be obliged to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ each year to Myers. He must also tell her regularly that She is The Sunshine of His Life, and will be required to call her up spontaneously, To Say That He Loves Her, and that he Means it From the Bottom of his Heart.



‘I’m delighted to be able to bring justice here,’ reported the Judge to assembled media. ‘All that remains is for me to add my name to the verdict, put it in an envelope, take it across to the courthouse office, and make myself available for any other similar cases. Signed, Sealed, Delivered. I’m Yours.’



First published 16 Feb 2023



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